Amanda Edge: mediator

with contributions from Amanda Edge

Herald: Amanda, what does a high school mediator do?

Amanda: A student mediator helps when two or more students have a conflict. Adults can't always solve these problems. But students can usually get through to each other, because their problems are similar.

Herald: How does this mediation actually work?

Amanda: The students go to the guidance counselor, and the counselor refers them to us. Then we go to the library together and take care of it. We take notes on what the problem is. Then we discuss how the people involved can go about solving it.

Herald: Is it sort of a brother-sister support system?

Amanda: Yes. And we're trying to make sure that these kids don't harm each other, or other people, when they have a conflict. If the situation gets too serious, we tell a guidance counselor. Otherwise, we keep it between ourselves and the students.

Herald: So there's a certain confidentiality?

Amanda: Yes. We have to keep it confidential, unless they're threatening suicide or homicide.

Herald: Amanda, could you describe a situation that was challenging to resolve?

Amanda: One time two people came for help. The situation involved a boy whose parents had made him leave his house. He was staying with another student, who is a female. She began suspecting that he was stealing things. Her watch, along with some money, was missing. He said, “I didn't take anything, I promise.”

So we brought him out of the room where we were meeting with the two of them. And we asked him, “Are you sure you didn't take it?” We found out he did. He said he was very sorry. After that, I had to keep my thoughts very clear that both of these students were perfect in God's eyes — that they were the children of God. I had to realize that somehow He would take care of both of them.

Herald: What was going on between them at that point?

Amanda: They were being hostile toward each other — just giving each other that evil glare. I tried to keep very good thoughts toward them, though, and I was nice to both of them. I knew God was with both of them. And eventually the situation got resolved.

Herald: Did this resolution >last?

Amanda: Yes, we checked back on them, and they're friends again.

Herald: What causes difficulties between young people? And what can help?

Amanda: I think what's needed is trust. What usually causes problems is that trust has been broken. So you try to reestablish that.

Herald: How do you do that?

Amanda: Well, we ask them to describe their friendship before the incident happened. They generally tell us they had a great friendship. We ask them, “Do you want to hurt that friendship?” And they usually say, “No.”

Herald: So you help them to get back to those good times?

Amanda: Yes. We don't judge people. And we don't solve their problems for them. We help them solve their problems themselves.

Herald: Do you enjoy being a mediator?

Amanda: Yes. And it's comforting to have this kind of help at school — to know that there are other students you can talk to. You don't have to keep a problem all bottled up inside yourself.

Herald: Amanda, is there anything you'd like to add for our readers?

Amanda: Yes. That they should start a program like this at their school if they don't have one!

About the author

Amanda Edge lives in Portsmouth, Rhode Island, in the United States. She's a high school mediator — solving problems between fellow students. Recently she spoke with a Herald staff member.

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