Article January 1, 1998 ISSUE

I was honestly happy for him

Irène Melchner

For me, a relationship means being completely at ease with a person, wanting to be with them a lot. It also means wanting to bring out the best in that person and truly know them.

When I arrived at college, I saw one boyfriend for ten months, and things went really great. Then I realized that it was no longer as good. We began to break up. At the end, we were sending really nasty e-mail messages to each other. I left for vacation, and when I came back to school I found that he was seeing another woman. That made me even more mad at him.

Then I said to myself, “You shouldn't let this relationship destroy your life.” I tried to see him as God saw him, as a child of God—perfect. I became so calm that I was honestly happy for him, that he'd found someone else. All my anger disappeared. His new girlfriend is now a very good friend in whom I can confide.

What happened was I realized that I am a child of God. So my joy can't be destroyed by hate, or by bad feelings.

I also realized that it's wrong to love someone by just idealizing them. And that you're hampered by a love that's completely blind. But I think that if you know the person truly and appreciate them, you can love them in the best way.

Now I know that God is my best friend. He is always there when I need to talk to Him. He gets your attention with a little voice that says what is right and what isn't. You can choose to hear or not. But He is always right. :)

Irène Melchner
Lausanne, Switzerland

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