"Stop thinking of yourself as an older sister"

My younger sister was the first in our family to buy an electric iron. She was in high school at the time, and I was living and working in a city several hours away. When I came home for a holiday visit, she asked if I'd like to use the new beauty gadget. I had seen curling irons in the stores but had never tried one. My sister coached me on the correct techniques involved, and I gave it a try. It wasn't as easy as it looked. My awkward, all-thumbs approach left me with an unusual hairdo, and my sister with a mild case of the giggles!

"Forget it!" I cried in embarrassed frustration. "I just can't do this." She laughed lightly and then, not allowing me to give up, patiently continued her instruction. I eventually got the hang of it and received many compliments on my stylish curls. However, the whole incident left me with an unexplainable feeling of discomfort.

I had learned in my study of Christian Science not to ignore such feelings in the hope they would just go away. I knew that inharmony of any kind, no matter how small it seems, results from a misconception of God and His creation, so I quietly prayed to know what I needed to understand to be at peace. The answer came as a simple and direct instruction: Stop thinking of yourself as an older sister.

I was surprised, but as I recalled the hairstyling experience, I realized that what had made me uncomfortable was not just that I hadn't known how to use a curling iron. What had really gotten to me was the fact that my little sister did know how to use one! I wasn't used to having her be my instructor. While we were growing up, it usually had been the other way around. I thought to myself, "I'm just going to have to accept that in some areas my sister knows more than I do."

Accepting my sister's expertise with a curling iron, however, had not been the thought that had come as the answer to my prayer. The message was to stop thinking of myself as an older sister. "How can I do that?" I wondered. After all, I had been born first—I was the older sister! Ever since I could remember, the order of our births had defined our relationship. I saw that I had to take a closer look at this identification and not take it for granted any longer.

I recalled how the order of births had given my sister and me different privileges, responsibilities, and roles in our family. I also remembered hearing about books that describe how birth order determines people's personality, affects their relationships with others, and impacts all sorts of life choices from career paths to marriage partners! Counseling theories and therapies have even been developed to help people understand the impact of birth order on their lives.

In thinking about these ideas and how they applied to my sister and me, thought, I suddenly recognized that the concept of a younger and an older sibling was based on the belief of life in and of matter. Material birth was the starting point for the calculations of age and the comparisons of older and younger. But as a student of Christian Science I had been learning more and more about the actual, spiritual nature of man as God's eternal likeness. And I learned that the belief that man is mortal—born into matter and dying out of it—was a counterfeit of real being. Now I understand why it was important to stop thinking of myself as an older sister. From a spiritual standpoint, it was neither scientific nor true.

In the Christian Science textbook, Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy, we read, "Man in Science is neither young nor old" (p. 244 ). And in her description of the word year in the Glossary of the same book, she writes: "Time is a mortal thought, the divisor of which is the solar year. Eternity is God's measurement of Soul-filled years" (pp.598-599 ). Eternity, then, is the opposite of time. It has no beginning and no end.

If eternity, God's measurement, has no beginning or end (or middle)—no first and last, no younger and older—was it possible that material measurements of time could legitimately and accurately be applied to either my sister or myself? Did mortal years really define us and our relationship in any way? Had God actually created me several years before He created my sister? If so, then could either of us be evidence of God's eternal nature? Of course not! In the one, true reality—in Spirit—my sister and I always coexisted with God, each as an individual idea expressing Him. The belief in an order of being based on age is deceptive. To the degree that I was accepting this belief as a form of measurement for my sister, myself, or anyone, I was denying the true, spiritual, eternal nature of God's creation. I was limiting myself and others to a false, mortal concept of life.

I saw I must obey the instruction to stop thinking of myself as an older sister. And when I did, wonderful things happened. First, I felt a new sense of freedom. I had never realized that accepting the role of "older sister" could be so burdensome and limiting! Next, the relationship with my sister deepened and strengthened. I saw her in a whole new light and began to appreciate her as a friend. Our interactions were no longer tinted by conceptions of age, and we were both free to express openly with each other our God-given qualities. As a result, we became closer.

Today measurements of age are commonly used to establish order of place and position, not only in families but in other areas as well, and we need to be alert to their impact. For example, formal seniority systems that measure terms of employment according to the order of hiring and ignore individual accomplishment and talent, may lead to unnecessary restrictions on employee participation, contribution, and recognition in the workplace. The same may be true for less formal seniority considerations in community organizations, including churches—as when the length of time one has been a member is considered a factor in committee assignments or election to office.

This doesn't mean we shouldn't respect another's experience, or that we should disregard our parents. It does mean, however, that man is God's immortal likeness, and this fact enables us to overcome limitations associated with age.

In Miscellaneous Writings Mrs. Eddy says, "In obedience to the divine nature, man's individuality reflects the divine law and order of being" (p. 104 ). An understanding of the divine order of being frees us from the restrictions resulting from measurements of age and reveals our true selfhood as the reflection of God, divine Love.

HEBREWS

Let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith.

Hebrews 12:1, 2