Article August 6, 1990 Issue

Being right the right way

What we do is important. How we do it can matter even more.

Thomas C. Asher

A Man I know had a disagreement with one of his co-workers. It was obvious that my friend's position was the right one. Yet something was wrong. He was indignant and angry with his colleague. He was right, but he was right the wrong way. When he recognized this, he struggled to approach his co-worker with more humility and forgiveness, that is, to be right the right way. In a few days, the divisive issue was resolved in a harmonious and just manner.

Most of us have found ourselves in a similar situation—on the right side of an issue but proceeding with the wrong spirit. A parent, legitimately correcting his child, may find himself expressing impatience or anger. A church member, sensing a better way to proceed at a membership meeting, may speak with self-righteousness or willfulness. A driver, possessing the right of way, may advance with rudeness or arrogance. There are many situations where it's easy to be right the wrong way.

The challenge is to give as much attention to the "means" as to the "ends," to recognize that how one achieves his goal is as significant as the achievement, because if we fail to consider the spirit, or attitude, of our approach, we inadvertently undermine or even reverse the good we would accomplish.

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