"I can help myself!"
Have you ever used the excuse "I can't help myself" when you do something you know is wrong but just can't seem to resist doing? Most of us have at some time, I'm sure. But an article I read gave me some brand-new insights into this subject.
The author told how incest, promiscuity, addiction to alcohol, drugs, and gambling, are more and more frequently being classified as "diseases" to be medically treated. He speaks of a trend toward "the medicalization of deviance" and away from the individual's recognizing his responsibility for his own behavior. The writer called this relinquishment of moral responsibility "the New Obscenity." He writes, "It's not a four-letter word, but an oft-repeated statement that strikes at the very core of our humanity. The four words are: 'I can't help myself.'" William Lee Wilbanks, "The New Obscenity," Reader's Digest, December 1988 . So much of society today operates strictly from the basis of instant gratification. There aren't enough rebukes for social drinking, "recreational" drug taking, and so-called "discreet" or "safe" promiscuity. These are often justified as harmless, and morality is condemned as unnecessary and unattractive— or simply irrelevant to the pursuit of happiness. What people don't realize is that there is only a fine line that divides present-day social acceptance from potential degradation. When an individual begins to justify his actions with "I can't help myself," he is dangerously near to crossing that line.
Of course, no one plans to become a drug addict or an alcoholic or the victim of a social disease. That's why self-justification is such a cheat. The first step toward these unhappy circumstances often begins as a result of peer pressure, the desire to be popular, to be accepted—in other words, to be loved. Actually, it's one's ignorance of who he really is that makes him vulnerable to peer pressure and causes him to look for love and happiness in the wrong direction.
Christian Science has the answer to that important question "Who am I?" It explains the wonderful truth that Christ Jesus proved and illustrated through his sonship with God: that each of us is in reality the image and likeness of God, wholly spiritual, eternally individual, forever perfect. Science reveals man as the manifestation of the Mind which is God and as governed by divine Principle. Man is the sinless, pure, loved child of God, complete, upright, and satisfied. This is the nature of spiritual man and is the only absolutely true identity of each of us.
But, we might ask, what of this mortal that seems to be you and me? What of this person that appears to be weak, sinful, helpless? Christian Science answers that there really can't be two kinds of man any more than there can be two kinds of God. Therefore what we see as a weak, sick, or sinful mortal must be a misconception of man, a distortion, not the reality.
How can we get rid of these misconceptions and discover our real identity? By learning more about God, man, and His spiritual creation. God is omnipresent, omnipotent, omniscient Love and, as the Psalmist tells us, "a very present help in trouble." Ps. 46:1 . Yet one very popular misconception of God is that He is often either unwilling or unable to help us. Christian Science strongly rebukes this suggestion and shows us that God, divine Love, always meets our needs, when we turn to Him in prayer. Mrs. Eddy writes, "God is not unable or unwilling to heal, and mortals are not compelled to have other gods before Him, and employ material forms to meet a mental want." No and Yes, p. 42 .
These "other gods," Christian Science explains, have only the power we give them in belief. Understanding our relationship to God, we realize that no "other god" can enslave us or cause us to believe we cannot help ourselves. God's help is always available, and we are always free to begin to live in accord with His law of harmony.
Many years ago, long before anyone had coined the phrase "the new morality," I had a friend who was quite adept at practicing "the old immorality." No matter what she did, her excuse, too, was always "I just can't help myself." One day she confided to me, "I know God is punishing me for all my sins, and it's the worst punishment anyone can have." When I asked what this punishment was, she told me: "I don't know what I want. No one knows what torture that can be. Nothing can ever satisfy me." Neither of us knew it at the time, but what she really wanted was an understanding of a loving God who would show her a way to help herself out of the deep pit into which she had fallen. Tragically, she passed on at an early age. Medical diagnosis: acute alcoholism. My diagnosis (some years later): a misconception of the nature of God, of sin, and of herself.
What she really wanted was an understanding of a loving God who would show her a way to help herself out of the pit into which she had fallen.
Both my friend and I were raised in an orthodox Protestant faith. We attended Sunday School and church regularly and were taught that God is Love. We were familiar with the teachings of Christ Jesus, including his parable of the prodigal son. We knew, as many individuals do, that in this parable the illustration of the loving Father, always ready and willing to forgive his wayward son, refers to God and mankind. Why wasn't that enough to encourage my friend to turn to God for help? Because over the centuries misconceptions of God as a merciless tyrant, punishing sinful mortals for what they cannot help doing, has in a large degree infiltrated human consciousness. For this reason many individuals cannot accept the spiritual truth that God really is infinite Love. They fear to turn to God for help or feel undeserving of that help because of their belief that they are sinners or feel unworthy of His mercy and love.
Christian Science does not condone sin, but Science does show the impossibility of its having power or even reality in God's well-ordered kingdom. Concerning this, Mrs. Eddy asks, "Does divine Love commit a fraud on humanity by making man inclined to sin, and then punishing him for it?" Science and Health, p. 356 . How cruel that would be!
Then what causes mankind to sin? We could answer: • The misconception that man is basically material and can find pleasure or fulfillment only in some form of materialism. • The belief that God is unjust, partial, giving to some more than others.
These are misconceptions of the nature of God as the source of all good and of man's relationship to Him as His spiritual child. The Bible tells us that God "satisfiest the desire of every living thing." Ps. 145:16 . Christian Science, true to this concept, shows that satisfaction and fulfillment are purely spiritual and cannot be found in matter.
What about penalty for sinning? Sin always includes penalty. As long as we sin we are subject to its penalty; but as we learn to face up to sin and see it has no place or power in our true nature, we cease sinning and sin loses its hold over us. There is no everlasting punishment for God's child—only for sin itself.
An incident that happened when I was a very young child was a great help to me when years later I was striving to understand the teachings of Christian Science concerning sin and its penalty. In those days electrical outlets were not covered as they are today, and I stuck my finger in one and got an electric shock. My mother lovingly explained that the electricity would never hurt me as long as I didn't touch it. This incident helped me to understand clearly the nature of sin and its penalty. The danger is always there, in belief. It's the touching that brings the penalty, and the letting go that removes it.
You may be thinking, "That's easier said than done! What if one truly believes he wants to let go of sin but can't help himself?" Then isn't this the time to turn wholeheartedly to God for His help? And to learn more of who we truly are? No one can ever find himself in a situation, however deplorable, where God is not available. The Psalmist obviously had some glimpse of this when he sang: "If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there." Ps. 139:8 .
As I learn my way in Christian Science and understand more and more of the all-embracing love of our Father-Mother God, I sometimes remember my friend. I didn't know enough about God at that time to help her, but I do know enough now about His infinite love to pray scientifically for those caught in that web of self-destruction. All who have experienced God's love and forgiveness and help in time of trouble have this privilege.
We can pray that mankind's eyes be opened to the true nature of God and to the deceptive nature of sin. We can pray that we will be compassionate and understanding whenever we hear or read of problems of immorality and addiction. We can be Christlike, not self-righteous, in our view of those caught up in sin, and be willing to pour into human consciousness the spiritual truths that bring release.
Finally, whenever we're tempted to think for any reason "I can't help myself," we can pray to know and feel that man is never helpless, because he is never outside Love's tender care, which is always available to give us strength against temptation.
In proportion to our dedication and willingness, our prayers can help win the war on drugs and addiction in any form. They can help hasten the day when "the New Obscenity" disappears and all mankind can say, "I can always help myself, because I know who I am, and I know God loves me."
