Taming the tongue

James thoroughly captured, in a phrase, the sense of frustration people too often feel: "The tongue can no man tame." ^{James 3:8 ;} How aptly this observation describes those times when words spill out that, with more thought, we would have swallowed—or at least modified!

Is there something we can do beyond an earnest effort to think before we talk? Can we take effective steps to prevent those words that suddenly splash out and then prove to be an embarrassment or a cause for regret? We can if we are willing to increase our love of Soul and more clearly recognize our relationship to this synonym for God. The real need is not to exercise a foolproof method of controlling every word that comes out. We must discover that Soul impels its idea, man, and then we must surrender to that specific truth of being.

As we acknowledge and cherish this truth, a special attribute derived from Soul blesses our lives. It is dignity. Soul includes very specific qualities that govern and impel man's whole being. Because man is a spiritual idea expressive of Soul rather than a mortal personality subject to impulsive words, the dignity that has its source in Soul is inherent within his being. Dignity is characterized by the purity of virtue and grace. As we understand this fact, it transforms our nature. Decency and perhaps even a touch of nobility begin to mark our communication with others. We can say with Job, "My words shall be of the uprightness of my heart: and my lips shall utter knowledge clearly." ^{Job 33:3 ;}

If we are gratefully expressing the dignity of Soul, there is no danger of our words offending another. The underlying motive can be significantly deeper than simply a desire not to say something we later wish we hadn't said. Christian Science shows us the best motive is a desire to express ourselves in a way that is most consistent with our real being. If we are truly pleasing God, we can be sure that what we say will be appropriate for our fellowman. "Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord," ^{Ps. 19:14 ;} the Psalmist reminds us.

There may be times, after saying the wrong thing, that we chide ourselves by thinking, "I've just got to learn to keep my mouth shut!" It is true. We've got to learn. But it's not so much a matter of keeping our mouths shut. It's a matter of learning from God—letting Him teach us what to say. This means trusting the power of Mind to reveal its ideas and letting our understanding of these truths move our thoughts into words.

Although in a little different context, even the great Bible figure Moses felt inadequate in expressing himself. The message he received from God is the same one we can receive from Him as we listen for His direction: "I will be with thy mouth, and teach thee what thou shalt say." ^{Ex. 4:12 ;}

But suppose it's after the fact. We said something and now wish we hadn't. How can our understanding of the dignity of Soul erase what has already been said? Sometimes there are important lessons for us to learn. Instead of wasting time in regret, we should make an earnest effort to outgrow, through prayer, the propensity to react with words. Perhaps a lesson in humility needs to be learned—the kind that enables us to make a straightforward apology.

Whatever the lesson may be, we will grow from it if we refuse to condemn ourselves and, instead, draw closer to the dignity of Soul. From experience Mrs. Eddy could write: "Who hath not learned that when alone he has his own thoughts to guard, and when struggling with mankind his temper, and in society his tongue? We also have gained higher heights; have learned that trials lift us to that dignity of Soul which sustains us, and finally conquers them; and that the ordeal refines while it chastens." ^{Miscellaneous Writings, p. 126 ;} When the lessons are learned, the trials are turned into victory. The metaphysical truths of being hasten those victories and lift us above the anguish or disgust that is sometimes the aftermath of the wrong words spoken.

In reality man expresses God's perfection. When we are ill, an understanding of this truth will heal disease. Full healing liberates us not only from physical discomfort but from depressing thoughts of suffering or vivid memories of pain. Because man's true nature is perfect, we need not harbor disease in thought as a difficult past event—and we won't if we turn fully to God's allness. Similarly, when we've been genuinely reformed by submitting to the dignity of Soul, we have the right to relinquish unhappy memories. In fact, it may well be that no one will remember what you have now realized was never impelled by God.

On the other hand, we can begin to realize that as our words are learned of God, they will have special meaning, even healing power, for those we communicate with. Others will remember what has been said because the words flowed from the dignity of Soul rather than the disgust of material sense.

Christ Jesus uttered words that will never be forgotten. The reason is that those words had behind them perceptions of Soul. Jesus was so certain of this that he could say, "Heaven and earth shall pass away, but my words shall not pass away." ^{Matt. 24:35 .} The more clearly we recognize that Mind alone supplies ideas and the more faithfully we let our words express these ideas, the more quickly wrong words will cease while worthy and memorable words will begin to characterize our conversations.

If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body.... But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth.... But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.

James 3:2, 14, 17