I grew up learning about God and having wonderful healing through prayer in Christian Science. But several years ago, one particular experience introduced me to God as that great Shepherd from the Bible. The Psalmist sings: "He leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul" (Ps. 23:2, 3). God is that great Shepherd who protects us from danger and never lets us get lost. The healing that followed was a marker for me because I gained new insights into the depth of the 23rd Psalm's message and really got to know my Shepherd for the very first time.

In March 2000, I found myself wrestling with frightening symptoms of a debilitating ailment. I never had it diagnosed, but it involved fever, chills, and chronic diarrhea. It seemed I didn't have much control over my body, and I frequently felt weak.

When this condition first appeared, I remember having strange thoughts that perhaps I'd done something wrong to deserve this suffering. The temptation to ascertain fault, blame, or a cause for this illness was very strong. I began reeling through past experiences in my mind like a movie projector. Was there some kind of indiscretion I'd committed to bring this on? Maybe I hadn't been as dedicated to God as I should have been? At the time, 17 years had passed since I'd attended a church service or really actively studied Christian Science. And yet, relying on prayer for help and healing was something I continued to do from time to time.

Just as that "projector reel" started spinning faster and faster, a thought came that God wasn't asking me how this happened, nor was He judging or blaming me in any way. I remembered the foundational fact from Christian Science Sunday School that God is Love (see I John 4:16). He wasn't some sort of harsh judge who doled out pain and punishment. Rather, He was divine Love who chastens us by revealing our spiritual identity. In the words of Psalm 23, His "rod" and "staff" protect and defend our purity as children of God.

Feeling the embrace and truth of God's message was a sweet moment of spiritual clarity that quieted me. I saw how I was never lost or left without comfort. My Shepherd was with me. And with that realization I knew I would be healed.

So, committed to praying for healing, I contacted a Christian Science practitioner to validate my prayer. Was I doing this right, I asked? Would I really be healed? Sitting in his home office, I remember being grateful for the practitioner's absolute devotion to God and to helping others find healing. I remember feeling deeply loved, safe, and at ease. And I felt assured that I was on the right track. Furthermore, the practitioner inspired me to look directly to God and trust in Him. Believe it or not, I left his office smiling. I knew I could contact him to pray with me whenever I needed to, but I also recognized that this was a time for me to get to know God. So I felt confident continuing on with my own prayers.

My day-to-day schedule didn't change much, and I still was able to go to work. Even though it was springtime, I often felt very cold throughout the day. I stayed comfortable by wearing layers of clothing. There were days when I showed up at work wearing a hat, thermals, sweater, and sweatshirt. Because I was working in a busy warehouse, and we didn't have to "suit up" each day, my clothes didn't draw too much attention. No one seemed to notice or comment on my physical appearance. I recognized this as one of the many ways I was being cared for during this time. I didn't have to answer any questions about the symptoms I was experiencing and was sheltered from others' concerns. To me, this meant that I was under the watchful eye of the Shepherd who was meeting my need for peace and sustenance.

Each day I gained a little more confidence in God and His care for me which, in turn, gave me the courage and spiritual fortitude to "stand up" to this ailment. Even though symptoms persisted, I felt a growing conviction that healing was taking place. It was becoming clearer to me that God was not only present but helping me see that my spiritual identity remained intact and perfect. I was inspired to go about my days as I normally would. This included, among other things, eating three meals a day, even though I was unable to retain food for very long.

Every day I looked forward to the hours after work before sundown. Since I've always loved nature, whether I was taking a light walk on a foot trail in a park or sitting on a bench under a willow tree, it became the place for me to pray. There I could leave behind anything and everything that reminded me of illness or disease and just listen to God. In the trunk of my car I had the Bible, and Science and Health and other writings by Mary Baker Eddy.

I lived in a good-sized city at the time, and it was not lost on me that God was leading me every day to a place of rest, prayer, and refreshment, as described in this verse from the 23rd Psalm: "You let me rest in fields of green grass. You lead me to streams of peaceful water, and you refresh my life" (verses 2, 3, Contemporary English Version). I always seemed to find a new special place to sit and consider the spiritual ideas I was learning.

Three months into this time of focused spiritual study and awareness, I woke up in the middle of the night in great pain. The symptoms seemed especially aggravated, and I was feeling alone and scared. But I'd grown sure of the hand of my Shepherd. I called out to Him in prayer. An answer came when I opened up Science and Health and these words jumped out at me: "Realize the presence of health and the fact of harmonious being, ..." (p. 412). That statement seemed like a directive and an antidote to arrest the distress I was feeling. But how?

Then it occurred to me that Life was everywhere. And that it was going on, right then. Life was everything—outside, inside, and around. Life was God, and I was simply reflecting Life now. It's all there was.

This was not an intellectual realization or affirmation, but a spiritual fact that I'd been learning over the past three months—a fact I now felt I understood.

Feeling incredibly embraced, and at peace, I fell asleep, the pain gone. The next morning I woke up completely restored. The symptoms of illness were totally gone. My temperature was normal, and my body regained its normal functions. Sure I was ecstatic. But more than anything, I knew I had just received a holy lesson about God's shepherding and how He really sees each one of us as His image and likeness.

I learned that I was God's charge, always had been, always would be. Because I was a blessed sheep in His flock, He let me know that He would never let me wander away or fall into danger. I couldn't be abandoned or left to fend for myself to fight for nourishment and health. God would always give me what I needed to grow in my spiritual understanding of Him and myself.

After this healing, I began attending a local Christian Science church. Soon I became a member and went on to take a course on healing with a Christian Science teacher. Now, I spend the majority of my time devoted to the study and practice of Christian Science.

This experience continues to affirm for me the fact that man and woman, God's image and likeness, are wholly good, no matter what. I cannot judge another, because God does not judge us. He nudges us along to what He sees, to healing. As the great Shepherd loves His flock, I can love my fellow men and women. I now know that this is the spiritual consciousness or "house of the Lord" that Psalm 23 promises—the house that each of us truly lives in forever.

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