One of the keys to good relationships is the willingness to be unselfish. Whether they're with families or neighborhoods, at work, or in romance, relationships are enriched and progressive when we think beyond ourselves and when we try to understand someone else's point of view. That's why we often give so much to our best friends—we understand where they're coming from. This kind of thinking is also what makes us connect with complete strangers, even if it's just gracefully letting someone cut into our traffic lane.

But unselfishness is often a stretch for people. It seems that much of life demands that we look out for our own interests. At times, thinking more about others than ourselves can almost seem like a luxury.

Still, I believe we're actually designed to be unselfish. I know there have been times when I've found it such an incredible relief to think of how to help others without focusing on myself.

I remember seeing this one time when a young mother was visiting me, and she was sick. Even though she felt pretty miserable, she wanted to come along with her children and me when we spent the day at the beach. Sheltered under a tent made out of beach towels, she stayed close to the children's play while she rested.

When we got home, I offered to give her some supper before the rest of us ate, so she could tuck in early. But she just laughed and said, "No, that would be too weird. I'll actually feel better by taking care of the kids first." And after supper, she continued with the kids' bedtime routine, bathing them and helping them into their pajamas so I could read them bedtime stories. After all that, she was feeling better—invigorated enough even to take a cello lesson that night.

I've seen many other instances when unselfishness results from the unshakeable spiritual conviction that God always meets our every need. And because we can trust that God is constantly present and giving us everything we need, it is easy to, in turn, follow Jesus' words: "Freely ye have received, freely give" (Matt. 10:8). This asks us to give to another what we have already received ourselves.

But in order to give freely and unselfishly, we first need to recognize what we are given. There's a lot. Here's a partial list. God gives us an understanding of our origin, so we can bring freshness and creativity to our work. God gives us our spiritual identity, so we can express confidence in relationships. God gives us a sense of reality, so we can practice honesty and trustworthiness. God's government of creation enables us to bring patience and calm to our homes and families.

At times it's easy to feel overwhelmed by your own needs and feel that you're inundated with unresolved problems. To feel pulled under by negativity. But this isn't the truth about how God created us, nor about His plan for us. The depressing thoughts that keep drumming away are actually very "me"-focused. They are the counterfeit of God's constant provision of peace, confidence, and generosity.

It might feel like a leap to say that all your needs are already met, when you're faced with bills to be paid, the restlessness of the human heart, and the demands of a work schedule. I've found that it's the facts of our spiritual origin that show us the truth of who we are—and that God is caring for us moment-by-moment. We can trust that God never ceases to uphold us in our original state of perfection. With God's love as the starting point for our thinking, we can daily feel grateful for our integrity, good humor, and intelligence. For our innocence, joy, and wisdom. They all come from God.

I've found this statement in Science and Health to be a compelling guideline in how I approach relationships: ". . . blessed is that man who seeth his brother's need and supplieth it, seeking his own in another's good" (p. 518). It reminds me of Jesus' commandment that we love our neighbor as ourselves, not instead of ourselves. It is a holy thing to realize that our neighbor's needs are not in competition with our own.

One of my favorite prayers to strengthen my own desire to be unselfish is this: "Father, thank you for loving me in a way that is meeting all my needs. Thank you for caring for me in a way that I can stop worrying about myself. Please help me think beyond myself and use this love of Yours for others."

Step by step, it becomes easier to see—and to act on—the fact that unselfishness is a natural outcome of being loved infinitely by God. It's the way we were made.