One day I woke up feeling unwell, with severe symptoms of the flu. I had a fever and no desire to get up. I could barely pray for myself, but I faced up to my sense of discouragement and tried to heal myself through prayer.
However, after two days with no improvement, I decided to call a Christian Science practitioner to ask her to pray with me. The first thing she said was, “Stay with divine Love, and be conscious only of God’s love.” This reminded me of something that I had been praying about for several months. I had wanted to gain a better understanding of divine Love, because I had realized that after my divorce, which had occurred eight years earlier, I had accepted the widespread suggestion that many men are selfish, that all the good men are married, and that many women are victims. I began to see that this is a very wrong indictment of generic “man,” which includes all the men, women, and children of God’s creation, and also of the way God-created men and women relate. Still, I had nurtured the idea that, on many occasions in my life, I had felt a lack of love.
The practitioner’s comment made me think about how I had been praying. I had started by writing down the following on a piece of paper: “Love never abandoned you. Love has always been present.” So I asked myself, “Do you know why this is so?” But the answer hadn’t come to me.
However, as I prayed with this idea, at one point it became clear to me that love really had never abandoned me, because Love is God, who is omnipresent. Since I was the reflection of God, my nature reflected the Love that was constantly expressing itself through me. Love is not personal, it’s divine, and it manifests itself all the time.
This had been the first step to a higher understanding of Love. The second step came when I prayed with the 13th chapter of First Corinthians, which for me is a full description of love. I pondered this particular passage, “Love is patient, is kind; love does not envy” (verse 4, Portuguese Bible).
So I began to make a list of what I considered love to be: patient, kind, understanding, magnanimous, etc., and of what love is not: rude, dishonest, jealous, intolerant, and other negative aspects.
During my day-to-day activities, I took care to truly express the qualities that I had perceived as being derived from love. My attitude toward others and toward myself changed. I prayed a lot with this idea, and I felt inspired and very close to divine Love.
Then, on the night of my phone conversation with the practitioner, I realized that I had excluded people of the masculine gender from Love’s embrace. I humbly asked God for forgiveness, which for me meant a realization that people are not good and evil, because the divine creation is entirely perfect, entirely good, and does not exclude anyone. As I became aware of this, the flu symptoms that had persisted for three days vanished instantly.
This healing was very important to me because I realized that my spiritual identity already included all the qualities that I was looking for in a marriage, that my unbreakable unity with Love was the only reality of who I am. This new perspective, in addition to healing me of the flu, freed me from the feelings of disappointment, sorrow, and loneliness associated with my divorce.
It was gratifying to discover that the family that I hoped some day to rebuild by marrying again, was already supplied by God in the form of divine qualities that are inherent in each one of us, in the form of friendship, love, affection, and protection.
I understood that my health is a quality that is also included in the divine consciousness, and that I can experience it all the time.
Today, I feel happy, complete, fulfilled, empowered, and free from the depressing feelings caused by divorce. This healing opened the door to new friendships, new opportunities for sharing, and brought me the companion I so desired. I know that we need not worry about anything, because God supplies our needs. As His children, we are already married, that is, we are already united with all of God’s qualities and we include all the good of His creation.