Article May 5, 2014 Issue

Empowered by forgiveness

Lois Carlson

Our family had suffered some hard knocks. God had led us forward. Our Christian Science branch church and Sunday School had sustained us over and over again. God was our mainstay and my heart yearned to know that my youngest child in particular would be OK. This dinner conversation was an assurance that this teenager was learning to live the love of God he was being taught:

“Skander, have I taught you that forgiveness is important?”
“Sure, Mom,” he replied without hesitation.
“How did I do that?”
“Well, maybe I shouldn’t say you taught me. I just know that forgiveness is important.”
“So, you know for sure that it’s a value of yours?”
“Yeah, I know it’s my value because I try to do it, and in fact I enjoy doing it.”
“Can you give me an example?”
“I can’t think of one now.”
“Well, the fact that you enjoy doing it is really good.”
“Mom, what’s making you talk about this?” (with genuine concern).
“I just read an article that said it’s important for parents to teach forgiveness because by the time kids are teenagers it’s usually hard for them to forgive.”
“I don’t agree with that at all. In fact, I think teenagers are good at forgiveness because teenagers know the importance of cutting people slack.”
“Why? Because teenagers know they need slack more than others?”
“I guess that’s a way of saying it. I think the problem is self-righteousness—feeling so much better than anyone else. If somebody doesn’t think they need slack, they think other people shouldn’t get a break either.”
“Maybe that’s how I’ve taught you forgiveness—you’ve needed to forgive me for my mistakes.”
“Mom, your mistakes aren’t any worse than mine” (with great tenderness).