Article August 6, 2012 Issue

Undivorced from good

Name withheld

My 19-year marriage seemed perfect until the day I discovered my husband’s infidelity. Then my entire world was turned upside down. Distraught, I searched for reasons why this was happening to me. Why wasn’t I good enough? What had I done to cause him to stray? The tears I cried could have filled a small pond. 

Following many failed attempts to convince my husband to join me in marriage counseling, I made one of the hardest decisions of my life. I filed for divorce. Fear assailed me as I took that step. How would I live on just one salary? Where would I live? How was I going to exist alone? Already, other married couples who were friends had dropped out of sight. With family members located thousands of miles away in distant states, I was left with only two close friends. I felt such emptiness and fear of the future without my husband. The human mind was sending strong messages of loss, sadness, loneliness, jealousy, and anger. 

Having been raised in a loving Christian Science home, I knew there was another way to view this situation. I had been a member of The Mother Church since high school, but during my marriage I had slipped away from being a true student of Christian Science. I hadn’t read a Christian Science Bible Lesson or periodical in years. The one thing I had done consistently, however, was follow Mary Baker Eddy’s directive in the Church Manual that members of The Mother Church pray daily: “ ‘Thy kingdom come;’ let the reign of divine Truth, Life, and Love be established in me, and rule out of me all sin; and may Thy Word enrich the affections of all mankind, and govern them!” (p. 41). 