Article October 18, 2010 Issue

TODAY'S YOUTH ENTITLED TO GOOD

BY CHERYL RANSON

Log on to nearly any website focused on raising today's youth, and you'll likely find yourself reading about entitlement. A child or teen who feels entitled expects whatever he or she wants, whenever he or she wants it.

This phenomenon certainly doesn't describe every young person, but it's widespread enough to make headlines and spawn a growing pool of child behavioral consultants. "Entitlement children are children who have learned from experience that they will get what they want if they demand loud enough or insist long enough," writes parenting consultant Karen Deerwester. "They might accomplish this with irresistible charm or with forceful persistence. Either way, not only do they know how to get their way, they expect it" (Karen Deerwester, The Entitlement-Free Child: Raising Confident and Responsible Kids in a "Me, Mine, Now!" Culture, Sourcebooks, Inc., 2009).

Ironically, "entitlementitis" seems to spring in some degree from parents' well-meaning efforts to express love for their kids. But when caring parents try to ensure children's happiness with over-the-top opportunities and gifts through the years, they may inadvertently encourage selfish or demanding behaviours. These attitudes then show up in the classroom, on sports fields, and later, even in the workplace.